My heat was exploding, my eyes fixed on the ceiling, how could I face him?
For over 20 years my marriage had been a war, physically I had lost every battle and sometimes my spirit was broken, but I always seemed to recover, just enough for the next time I bore many physical scars on my body, but these were nothing to the emotional damage, that was the real and lasting punishment.
My life was like laying a record that jumped, I never got past the same old passage, I could not progress to the end, he maintained his power his position in the house with violence. I did not know how to fight back, I was scared, but was I just not competent, I cannot fight back in a confrontation, | don’t know how, I just give in, submit to my fate, whatever that is.
He was handsome almost 6 foot tall straight nose, broad smile and charming, and that made him physically attractive. He received praise from his Doctor colleagues and many compliments from the Doctors wives. When he played guitar and sang love songs many fell for his chemistry, outwardly he was a wonderful man.
In his profession he was acknowledged as one of the best physiatrists and in his clinic I could see how effective he was, really a very good Doctor, but in reality he had to be untamed disruptive, a loner, no one could get close to him, I was always ready waiting for the expected explosion.
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