Chapter 14

Two weeks before I gave birth, he behaved very strange, playing the song called " Missing you…" all the time , and he wasn’t himself, his mind was full of another woman.

One late night , Our 3 years old son Chocolate had fever (Mumps), I was worried and very anxious , trying to look for my husband everywhere….But I could not find him , I didn’t know where he was?  He didn’t come home that night, and about midnight , he rang and said he’s not coming home.  I told him our son having fever but it didn’t concern him at all, he only said " I am not going home tonight " , showed no care about our son I was very angry and confronted him " Are you sleeping with another woman? " he just hung up the phone.
He turned up the next day about noon time , no explanation or guilty feeling just walked into our bed room having a glance, right before he came back I’ve took Chocolate to see a doctor and his fever was retired.  and only for few hours my husband disappeared again.
I was due to having second baby at the time, and our son was sick, I felt exhausted mentally and physically.  I can no longer loaded, I was disheartened …despair…
I walked into my husband’s consulting room where he sees his patients….I grab a handful of pills from his shelf …I locked the door ….I wanted to finish all my pain and torment.  In that second , my 3 years old little son was crying loudly and kept banging the door an d shouting " Mummy! Mummy!" , " open the door Mummy! open the door…." , maybe he can senses something wrong …..
Suddenly, I woke up and told myself " I can not leave my little boy behind " , I might can take my unborn baby with me but I can not leave my son alone , who is going to look after him?I  I was heart broken but my son woke up my soul and reminding me of my duty, no matter how hard , I need to live for him .
Few days later , I woke up in one midnight and saw my husband sitting on living room floor, he looked terrible and miserable, I walked to him and asked " Are you having affair? " , no response, after few minutes, he nodded his head…
All the anxiety and frustration that I have carrying for months was just out of control, it all pouring out in a second, without thinking I slapped him heavily.  And that was the first time and last time I ever touched him, I didn’t know where I got the courage to do that ? without any
consideration, he didn’t fight back just sitting there like a blockhead.

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