Chapter 14

Two weeks before I gave birth , he was behaving very strangely, playing the same song " Missing you …….." all the time, and he wasn’t himself at all, I was sure his mind was occupied by another woman.

One night, our 3 year old son had fever (Mumps), I was very worried and anxious , I tried  looking for my husband everywhere, but I couldn’t find him , I didn’t know where he was?
He didn’t come home, and then at midnight he rang and said he’s not coming back that night, I told him that our son had a fever, but that didn’t concern him enough to change his mind , he only replied " I am not coming
home tonight " . He didn’t care for what I had just told him …..in the end I confronted him with very cold words " Are you sleeping with another woman?
He turned up the next day at noon time, no explanation or guilt he just walked into the bedroom and glanced around, I had already taken my son to another doctor and the fever was subsiding. But, then after a few hours my husband disappeared again!
I was heavily pregnant with my second child and my son was ill, I felt physically sick and mentally exhausted and my husbands treatment of us was leading me to feelings of extreme despair..
I went to my husbands consulting room and picked up a bottle of pills and I locked the door, I wanted to end this pain and torment. Within a few seconds, my 3 year old son began crying loudly and kept banging on the door and shouting “Mummy……mummy….open the door". I think he could sense that something serious was wrong!
His cries suddenly woke me up from my intentions, I could not leave my little boy. Maybe I could take my unborn baby with me but, I could not leave my son alone without a mother, who would look after him?
A few days later I woke up at midnight to find my husband sitting on the floor, he looked terribly miserable, I walked to him and asked again, " are you having an affair" there was no response then after a few minutes he nodded, yes.
In that second,all the anxiety, frustration and anger that I had been carrying for many months broke out, I lost control  and I slapped him as hard as I could. That was the first time I had ever touched him in anger and I had found the courage to vent my feelings on him for the first time. He did not fight back or respond, he just sat there, no reaction or emotion.

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